On a scale from 1 to 10, how much charisma do you think you have?
Take a second and rate yourself. Be honest.
If you’re like most professionals in my workshops around the world, you’re probably thinking:
“Well… maybe a 4 or 5? I’m not bad, but I wouldn’t say I’m super charismatic.”
I challenge that.
Most people assume charisma is something you’re born with—that natural ability to captivate a room, hold attention, and inspire confidence. But here’s the truth:
Charisma is a skill.
You can learn it. You can develop it. And when you do, it can transform your career—from how you network to how you lead, speak, and influence others.
In this post, I’ll break down exactly what charisma is, why it matters, and how to develop it so you can start making a lasting impact today.
First Impressions: You Have Seconds to Get It Right
People decide whether they trust, like, or respect you within moments of meeting you. Harsh? Maybe. But also, a massive opportunity—because once you know this, you can engineer a great first impression every time.
How to Make a Strong First Impression:
Stand tall with open, confident body language.
Make direct but warm eye contact.
Use a steady, confident voice—no nervous filler words or mumbling.
Smile authentically. People can spot a fake one from a mile away.
Mirror their energy subtly to create instant rapport.
A little tweak in how you walk into a room, shake a hand, or introduce yourself can completely change how people perceive you—and the opportunities that come your way.
Engineer the Conversations You Want to Have
Ever walked away from a conversation feeling like it went nowhere? You can take control of discussions instead of just reacting to them.
Techniques to Guide Conversations:
- Ask open-ended questions: “What’s something exciting happening in your life right now?”
- Use storytelling. People remember stories, not just facts.
- Control the energy. Slow down or speed up depending on the tone you want to set.
The key? Be intentional. Instead of hoping for a great conversation, design one.
How to Escape Boring Small Talk
We’ve all been there. You’re stuck in the “How’s the weather?” loop at a networking event. Here’s how to break free.
- Better Conversation Starters:
- High-Value Questions: “What’s something exciting happening in your life right now?”
- Bold Statements: “I think small talk is overrated. What do you think?”
- Self-Reveal First: “I just came back from a trip to Spain. Have you ever been?”
When you inject curiosity and personality, conversations become effortless.
Flirt With the World (No, Not Like That)
Charisma isn’t about seduction—it’s about playfulness, curiosity, and energy.
How to bring that into your interactions?
- Use light teasing. A little playful back-and-forth makes people feel comfortable.
- Engage with everyone. Cashiers, colleagues, strangers—make people feel seen.
- Express enthusiasm. People mirror your energy, so bring some spark.
Ever met someone who made you feel like the most interesting person in the room? Be that person.
Move Like a Leader: Prey vs. Predator Movements
Confidence isn’t just felt—it’s seen in how you move.
- The Body Language of Powerful People:
- Move deliberately. No jerky or rushed movements.
- Expand your body language. Take up space—don’t shrink or cross your arms.
- Pause before speaking. It signals authority and control.
How you physically show up can change how people listen to you.
The Confidence Trick Before Speaking to a Big Crowd
Public speaking can feel terrifying. But here’s a mindset shift those changes everything:
Instead of thinking, “I hope they like me,” tell yourself, “I have value to offer.”
Simple Confidence Boosters Before You Speak:
- Take deep breaths. Oxygen calms nerves.
- Ground yourself. Feel your feet on the floor—own the space.
- Smile slightly before speaking. It naturally projects warmth.
Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about knowing how to manage fear.
Charismatic Leaders Communicate Beyond Words
A massive 93% of communication is non-verbal—meaning your tone, gestures, and expressions matter more than your actual words.
How to Speak with More Impact:
- Use confident gestures. Don’t fidget or cross arms defensively.
- Match and mirror others subtly. It builds instant connection.
- Pause intentionally. Silence is powerful—don’t rush to fill it.
People don’t just hear you—they feel your energy too.
Ok, now I shard those tips and tricks with you, what skills and pragmatic tactic will you use in you networking event or first encounter with stakeholder to kickstart a great connection.
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